New Pairings on DWTS

The pairings are finally named for the new season of DWTS. Ok, I admit that I had to Google some of the Star's names.

AARON CARTER, singer and brother of former Backstreet Boy, Nick Carter, will be teamed with KARINA SMIRNOFF. Lucky little boy. Although Karina can have a bit of a snarky attitude for my liking, her dancing is phenomenal. I never tire of watching her. Luckily, they aren't judging the attitudes of professional dancers. She has tamed a bit since falling in love though. (Collective 'awwwwww').

NATALIE COUGHLIN, an Olympic champion swimmer, will be paired with ALEC MAZO. Olympians always do well and she is a beauty from Vallejo, California. This pair is going to look phenomenal. I hope it will go well because since all the Olympians have done so well, it seems there is tremendous pressure on whomever comes on this show to make it to the finals.

MARK DACASCOS, will be dancing with LACEY SCHWIMMER. Gotta be blunt here. Haven't a clue what this guy is famous for and don't really care because wow is he cute! I hope he can move. Although Lacey is not my favorite pro (not even from her time on SYTYCD), she has done well on DWTS. We'll just have to wait and see.

TOM DELAY, former House Majority Leader, is placed with the two-time champion CHERYL BURKE. Just so you know, when you do an image search for Tom Delay, you get a mug shot. Cheryl may get that vacation she has deserved for so long! This is a prediction that Mr. Delay should try to disprove. But, I think I'm pretty on the non-laundered money. (bad joke)

MACY GRAY, singer, teams with JONATHAN ROBERTS. I've never seen Macy perform live or otherwise, but I hope she can dance. It seems as though Jonathan is always placed with partners who can't move well. He is a good dancer so I'd like to see him get to a higher spot on the show.

ASHLEY HAMILTON will dance with EDYTA SLIWINSKA. Ashley: What do you do? Why are you famous? No, really. I'm asking. Other than being born to someone famous and marrying someone else famous for about 30 seconds, what qualifies you to be one of the STARS with whom to be danced? Furthermore, why do you get to dance with Edyta? She is the only pro who has been there all nine seasons! Her rumba is unmatchable. In my opinion, she deserves to win Ashley. You better bring it my friend!

MELISSA JOAN HART, from Sabrina The Teenage Witch, is all grown up and teaming up with reigning two-time "Dancing with the Stars" champ MARK BALLAS. Way to go Melissa! He is dance royalty (Mom=Shirley Ballas) and is probably the best young choreographer on the show.

KATHY IRELAND, teams with TONY DOVOLANI. Ok, I'll say it: the models never do well. But, Kathy is not a typical model. Throughout her career she made herself a brand, a model tycoon. She's an entrepenuer and I hope she can change the luck for the models on the show. She has a wonderful partner for it.

MICHAEL IRVIN, NFL player, will make his debut along with Season 8's Professional Dancer Competition winner ANNA DEMIDOVA. It will be interesting to watch them both learn the ropes together. Clearly, Anna has done this before, but not on national television or with an NFL player.

JOANNA KRUPA, model, teams with Season 7 pro winner DEREK HOUGH. These two will look amazing together provided the model can dance. Again, with the 'model curse' on her back, she will have something to prove. I hope she (and Kathy Ireland) can change that. Derek is an amazing dancer (a little show boat-y at times, but it's ok once in a while) who is getting better at choreography for skill level of his partner. His energy is fantastic and he's adorable to boot!

CHUCK LIDDELL, Ultimate Fighting Champion, teams with ANNA TREBUNSKAYA. I can't wait to see these two do the Paso Doble! An Ultimate Fighting machine could certainly grasp the mentality needed to capture the passion of the bullfight. Oh, I hope it works. The trick will be for Anna to teach him to soften in other dances. She has her work cut out for her.


DEBI MAZAR, actress, teams with MAKSIM CHMERKOVSKIY. There are a million reasons to love this pairing. Debi Mazar is a great actress so she will deliver on the dance floor. She is a tough girl so she can handle Maksim Chmerkovskiy's ways. Maks is a great dancer and a tough (it seems) teacher, so he needs someone who can take his ways. See previous sentence. I'm hopeful for this partnership.

MYA, singer, teams with DMITRY CHAPLIN. An interesting pairing. I'm not a big fan of Dmitry's even from his SYTYCD days. Enough with the open shirt. I'm just saying. I'm not sure how I feel. I need to let this one fester in my brain a bit. Check back later.

KELLY OSBOURNE, reality star, teams up with LOUIS VAN AMSTEL. Louis is an awesome choreographer, Kelly is lucky to have him and I think she'll do well with him. She's funny and I can't wait to see what she does with this show. I have been wanting to see her on DWTS for a long time. I don't know why, maybe her plucky attitude. The costume department is going to have a field day with her. If they try to make her do one of those modern Paso Dobles to Crazy Train or something else by dear old dad, I'm giving you a heads up for some incoming verbal vomit.

DONNY OSMOND, (does he need a byline?), is paired with KYM JOHNSON. This is really knocking boots with some sort of sick 1976 little girl fantasy I think I had once. I'm completely stoked for this pairing I shamefully admit this. If he doesn't wear purple socks at least once I will write the show to complain. Kym Johnson is the pro that got away. She really needs a win (less so than Edyta, but she still deserves it).

LOUIE VITO, professional snowboarder, joins CHELSIE HIGHTOWER. Sorry, still thinking about 1976.